The third person

The wife just finished her morning bath. Traditionally dressed in a sari, getting ready for the Puja, carefully applying the Sindoor on her forehead. For some unknown reason, her hands are shaking, she is restless, is there anything to fear? is anything unusual? 

A car just reached the house. Comes out a girl, modernly dressed in a nicely cut jeans. The door bell rings and suddenly she drops the Sindoor box on the floor by mistake. Is it a sign of misfortune? Who has come? Wife slowly opens the door, the husband also accompanies soon. It turns out the guest is an old college friend of the husband. 

Every one comes inside. Wife slightly pushes the husband to a corner, "Did she study with you in the college"? "Yes", the husband replies, "we were very close friends". "But I have never heard of her, you told about all your other friends, not about her"!!, wife is surprised. An aunty from a distant relation joins the discussion from the other corner, "Can everything from the college life be shared" & she winks. 

This is the story on the other side. On this side, the husband, sitting on the sofa & smiling from the corner of one eye looking at the wife. Wife is angry, visibly disappointed with the sudden appearance of that college friend. A pillow fight starts, followed by a loud laughter. Suddenly Muntasir(our son) comes running "Ammu, ammu ki hoyeche (Mother, what happened)"? 

Watching TV serial once in a while is a very good stress buster...

Food Review: Khaa Ke Dekh (Hyderabad)

As soon as we entered, the aroma of the traditional Kolkata biriyani just engulfed us. We tried mutton & chicken biryani, roti & mutton pasinda. The biriyani had all the original flavour(yes the potatoes, the integral part of Kolkata biriyani was present!!), the mutton was so soft that it just melted inside my mouth. The quantity of a single plate biriyani & the chicken/mutton sizes were not what you would get in an usual Hyderabadi biriyani, but it is sufficient for a single person.

Few areas of improvements include either increase the chicken/mutton size in the biriyani or reduce the price even lower, more structured service(e.g. I was not given the raita & the salon).

This place is NOT for you
- If you are looking for a swanky restaurant with good spacious ambiance, it is not. Don't plan to take your office client there.
- If you are very much reserved about south Indian style, please avoid.

This is a must try for you
- If you want to enjoy very good food with reasonable price with friends/family
- If you are craving for a Kolkata style biriyani in Hyderabad, it's must for you.

Also, it is good to keep in mind that in the same price, you would get almost the double quantity of Hyderabadi biriyani in any biryani joint in Hyderabad. Hyderabadi biriyanis typically have less flavour (fragrance of Ghee, spices etc.) compared to Kolkata biryani. So, don't go for comparison, it's not apple vs. apple. But as far as the authentic taste, fragrance, flavours of a Kolkata biriyani is concerned, this place has all of them.

Food: 4/5
Ambiance: 3.5/5
Service: 3/5
VFM: 3/5

Unity in Diversity: a Reality or a Myth

This post was selected by BlogAdda for Tuesday Pick. This was originally posted in Another blog of mine. I am moving it here to consolidate all my blog posts on this blog only from henceforth..

During my childhood, I first met India through these three words, "Unity in Diversity". That in spite of our religious,cultural,linguistic and so many other differences, we are one unique nation. Then during my formative years, I realized the inner significance of those three words, it was not easy to earn our independence with so many differences & still being united, a stupendous task fighting hand in hand against the British in spite of religious differences at a time, where still in many parts of India a Hindu could not drink a glass of water at a Muslim's house and vice versa, an unbelievable achievement where each individual, each group, each states had its share of problems still the cause of the nation stood bigger than everything else.That was indeed "Unity in Diversity".

Now after knowing my India for about more than 2 decades (even though I am 30, but leaving the initial 10 years) I often wonder why India is where it is today. Ask any one from 'mango people'(Am janta) to the intellects to the privileged one and there is no dearth of reasons for the wretched condition India is today & my apparent answers are also the same. But is it really so? If it's size and population, China is ahead of us, if 60 years of independence too short, South Korea was independent in 1945, Malaysia in 1957,UAE in 1971, if it's politicians, we choose them, if sluggish and corrupt govt officials, then I am sure some of them are our close relatives/acquaintances and did we ever protest? NO!!! Therefore, for every reasons we have, we have a counter argument, too and that convinces me enough to believe that these reasons are just not enough, there is something else beneath.

So, let's see in stead of talking non-stop about the problems, if we set out to solve it, whether that leads us to the devil which is causing India so much pain. And just for the sake of comparison, if i want my India to be the USA, where are the difficulties. Now I sincerely believe, for every nation to progress further, there should be one nerve bonding every single individual. One cause above every other small individual interests & I guess that is missing here.If you don't feel brotherhood, at least don't feel divided. An American from California does not feel difference from his fellow countrymen from Florida the way a Punjabi feels from a Tamil, just because they speak two different languages.'Where(which state) are you from?' I have hardly heard this in US whereas it is such a common question here whenever we are meeting an unknown.Development is up most important there, a road will be built if it has to be built.Here a road will only be built, if there is no Mandir or Masjid,if the land does not belong to people supporting a particular political party.There not too many political parties exist and they talk about real issues, here we always suspect people from other community, other state and that's why so many parties, and without any real agenda, they always have people base.These parties only help keeping those disruptive sentiments alive because that provides their bread and butter.And I can go on and on about this.

We human beings, like any other living creatures are selfish by nature, nothing wrong. I love me, my family, my near and dear ones. Then is it not natural that I love my mother tongue more than other language? If it was Hindi or something else but only one for every Indian, we would have felt less divided. We have often seen two educated, cultured Bengali talking in Bengali completely ignoring the presence of a third non-Bengali speaking person in official discussion in our corporate offices (Being a Bengali, I dared to take them here, but it is prevalent among all).The same two Bengali wouldn't dare to speak a single Bengali word in the presence of their foreign colleagues in foreign countries.If we did not have so much diversified food habit,I would be less hesitant to stay in Chennai and same for a Keralites in Punjab.I do not deny the variety of food we taste, the various festival we celebrate, hardly any one experience the same in any other country.But beneath underline somewhere, does it make us more attached to our homeland which is our state and not the country.We all know that if everyone does his part,takes care of their own panchayat, village, municipality, state the problem will be solved. But being such a diverse country, conflicts arise and soon we forget about the country and think only about us, our state, our language, our religion.

More often that not, we are asked to use our vote to curb all the problems we face.But when we vote, don't we vote more for the local causes than the national issues? Do you think a sincere and honest central minister would easily win the next election if he does more development in other than his home states, even if those states genuinely required it from his department?

The diversity is an integral part of India but the unity seems to be fading with each passing day.As a whole,anyway we are gradually becoming narrower, more happily living in our small corners blinding ourselves from the rest and this is worsening the situation.I wish we had leaders who could have again bonded us with the single chord like they did in pre-independence.The future looks bleak & I earnestly want but can't see a bright sunshine. Everyday I hope for miracles, may be with "bhagaban bharase", we will rise again. But then GOD helps them who helps themselves. How? Does anyone have an answer?

P.S. #1. I am very well aware of the problem USA has, I have mentioned them just for comparison purpose from development perspective.
#2. The examples I have cited above are purely my personal experiences.
#3. Most importantly, I know this post is highly debatable, so please share your thoughts without hesitation, even if not a single person agree with me, I don't mind. These cluster of thoughts were roaming in my mind for some time, and this post is primarily to clarify my own doubts.So, your honest opinion is sincerely appreciated :)

Dos & Don'ts while job change (Part 2)

If you have happened to come here directly, please read the previous post here before continuing further.
Whenever we think of any job change, it is more often than not for a better career as well as for a better life rather than getting out of a messy work environment i.e. your present job. So, you should always look for the positives what your next job is offering, but at the same time, you should also take sufficient precaution to safeguard yourself from landing into another worse environment.You should leave no stone unturned to scratch every truth beneath the carpet whatever you can.So, here are those that one shouldn't do while going for a job change.Needless to mention, the below points are in no particular order.
Do NOTs #1: Do not mix business with relation. You might have heard it before, but here the context is little different.If you are planning to join an organization through reference of your friends, ex-colleagues or any other acquaintance, listen to them but finally take your own decision with enough self conviction.Just because he/she is saying everything is good at the new place, it need not necessarily be true.Do not forget that your acquaintance also has responsibilities toward his/her own org, so practically there is no point to believe that he/she is baring all the facts in front of you & also to remember, if something does not work out as planned in the new place, it is mostly you who has to take care of yourself.Listen to everyone, but believe your instincts and take your own decision.
Do NOTs #2: Do not be a hanging fruit,have your own roots.During your job interviews, try to get clarification about your job responsibility as much as possible. You should have your own identity and you should not be identified as which big tree you are working under. You might get some advantage being in the shadow of some big boss, but you also run into danger of loosing your job when the tree top itself is chopped off.Also do not buy statements in response to any of your concerns like "oh..don't worry, you will be working with/under me and everything will be fine". What is the guarantee that the person who is promising you today will be tomorrow in that organization? Try to get the answers you are looking for, then question yourself and if you find yourself convinced, go ahead.
Do NOTs #3: Do not compromise with yourself.After seeing the big pay cheque being offered, we think we would be able to adjust, compromise.But unless you are into the situation, you do not know the limit you can stretch.Think yourself & compare the excitement you had after seeing the first pay slip of your present job and the excitement that you get now after receiving your month's salary. It is the day to day proceedings that keeps you going and if that starts to piss you off, I doubt even your dream salary could hold you back in that org.There is a core among all of us and there is a wrapper, where we try to do all the adjustment keeping the core intact.Do not compromise with that core of yours, exceptions apart, most people are not comfortable compromising that in lieu of anything!!
Do NOTs #4: Do not let your decision be wrongly influenced by others. The young people face a dilemma when what they want is different than what their parent wants.Do not take a decision telling your parents that they don't know a thing and also do not take a decision only to make your parents happy sacrificing your interest.It is very true that if you are not happy, you can't make others happy. There are better ways to show respect to your parents, to make them happy. But if you feel they are wrong, don't accept it, have a decent discussion, let both the parties put forth their perspective, and then reach a conclusion.
Do NOTs #5: Do not blind yourself just after seeing the offer letter, but unfortunately this is what most of us do.If career to you is to only make money,then you should not read any further :P.Otherwise,make a career, reach the desired destination, everything else will automatically fall into place.Do not look for a job change to bail you out from an unplanned bank loan. do not look for a job change to have an extended foreign trip at the expense of others.It is very important for all of us to realize that the Indian industries(specially the software industries) are changing and gone are the days where you are as big as the no. of reportee you have in your excel sheet in spite of you might not have any substantial knowledge.You have to really put lot of effort just to plan your career, focus on your learning, make yourself indispensable and to quote someone I have indirectly worked with "Be buyable, don't be sellable".
Again, thanks to all those great people I am privileged to have work with and when people are appreciating the posts on this subject, the credit actually goes to them.I am just conveying what they have taught me & I am absolutely not political here, sincerely.

Dos & Don'ts while job change

One of the most disturbing element of your otherwise peaceful work life is the news that some colleague of yours is leaving the present organization with a hike of X%.Suddenly a whole list of dissatisfaction from nowhere starts floating in front of your eyes and you loose your mental peace. The more is that percentage hike figure, the more you loose your good night sleep. Changing a job becomes your prestige issue. There is nothing wrong in changing a job, but if there is not enough reason to leave your present job & if you have not thought well about your future job, you will be in further mess & if you continue this for 2-3 times, you will soon find yourself in no man's land where every road in front of you seems to be blocked. So this is what I feel every one specially the young ones MUST do & MUST NOT do before changing your present job.

Dos #1: Ask yourself what would be the exit criteria for your next job that you are considering taking upon.I was simply stunned when I was asked the same!! We become so obsessed with the excitement of leaving our present job and going to a new place, we hardly try to see a little further. If the exit criteria for my present job is as same as that of my next job, it is of equal probability that it would be the same for my next to next job,too.And if we keep on this job hopping, the reason could be either we are escapist, or we don't know what we want or we just want to have short cut always.But irrespective of the reason, there is only one outcome and you will simply find yourself lost.

Dos #2: List down what all is causing pain in your present job, what you did to rectify them and what you are looking from your next job.Believe me, there is a difference between thoughts roaming around our minds and penning them down.Only when you write them, you will find many of the obvious issues you thought is actually no longer an issue, it was just one of your random thoughts. When you are completely sure that there was nothing more you could have tried to solve the existing issues, then only you should look for a new job, otherwise mostly the problem is with you.

Dos #3: Always have a plan for your career and if it is not for your entire career, it should at least be for the next 3/5 years. And you will change your job only if it is aligned with your master plan.Some time people change jobs with the intention of changing again within 1-2 years, nothing wrong if it helps you reaching closer to your target, otherwise just changing the job for whatever reason without any plan will not lead you anywhere.

Dos #4: Remember the golder rule "You will not get everything".So, be prepared for surprises in your next job. Other than your pay cheque, there are lot of other aspects in your present job, which has intangible value but we just don't realize them because they don't reflect in our pay slip. Don't get yourself disheartened if you miss any of them in your next job. You get some, you loose some, that's the way it is.

Dos #5: Think of this.To take a big leap forward, it helps if you first take few steps backward and then jump in stead of jumping from the same place.This is so true in life as well. If you need to sacrifice here and there while changing your job, it is fine as long as it helps you reaching the target as per your plan. Don't try to get everything.Every individual is different, give weightage to what is important to you and if you get them, go for the change.

This post is already long enough, so I would talk about the DONTs in my next post.

P.S. The above Dos are in no particular order. My sincere thanks to all those people from whom I have learned whatever I am talking here otherwise neither I have enough professional experience to be seasoned nor I am formally educated on this subject.

P.P.S. This is my first post after almost 6 months.When you have a jam packed work schedule and a new born baby at home, I guess you hardly have time to even breathe:)

GolMal hain bhai Sab gOLmAL hain

During my onsite trips in early stages of my career, I used to write long emails back home to my college friends giving them "update".Those emails were not my usual tour diary, covering common stuffs,but I used to focus on any weird, foolishly funny and mostly unique incident that occurred on that trip surrounding me. So, when few days back, one of my college friend told me that I am blogging good and that he first noticed the "writer" inside me after going through those long emails, I thought why not revisit those emails from Hall of Fame (read from the old mail archive of yahoo group mail ) and share with a larger audience here.So, without wasting further time on introduction, here are those real funny stories, bole to ekdum 'dil se'

Words of caution: This post contains mild non-veg, I could not edit them as they are being integral part of the story itself. Viewer discretion is advised :-)

Story #1:

While going to US, I had a stop over in Frankfurt for around 2 hours and it being my first trip, I got lost while searching my connecting flight.I was late and did not have time to freshen up in the morning,thought will do it once I board my connecting flight. As soon as I boarded the flight to Chicago, I headed for the restroom with my toothbrush and toothpaste. But after I started brushing my teeth, I found something unusual, weird, indescribable taste, not the usual foam, too. I came back to my seat with a disgusting feeling inside my mouth that I never tasted before. But when I was about to keep the brush and paste into my shaving kit, I realized the toothpaste was already there!! What did I use then? I looked at my hand and I was holding, along with the tooth brush, a tube of HIMALAYA AYURVEDIC CONCEPT......ANTICEPTIC CREAM!!!

Story #2:

Once me and my friend were travelling & I was driving the car. As I needed to change my lane, I started blinking th indicator, but there were cars coming at a faster speed on the adjacent lane, so I had to wait. I let the first car pass by, then the second and then the third. By this time, I was impatient and I thought it's now or never. I sharply changed my lane in front of the incoming car from behind and almost instantly, all those colorful lights started flashing on my back. I was very confident that i was within the legitimate speed limit. Not knowing what my fault was but following the rules, I stopped at the sideways and the flashing light followed me, I was sure it was "him" and it was me he was after.

I came out of the car barefooted, with my shorts on and started walking towards the cop .By the way, I did not know that in such situations, I am supposed to sit in my car and wait for the cops to come. Any approach made by me could be seen as revolt and the cops are allowed to shoot me. Anyway, knowledge posessed at the right time matters and not afterwards. I heard the guy shouting at me but did not realize his words. I gradually reached towards him and after a long discussion with him, I finally realized what I did. The cop was chasing those three cars which I let pass by in the beginning as they were over speeding and I actually blocked him from following them. Poor me, but I was still fortunate that I was not fined and more importantly, I was not shot.

Story #3:

After exploring all the nice scenic beauty around the Miami beach, we felt it was time to take a step forward. Yes, you are right, we wanted to explore the nude beach!!! We did not know the direction, nor did we get any help from Yahoo Maps. Only information, we had was one of our senior visited there few days back with my same old friend (I mentioned before) and now that friend is to lead the way for us from the front. But unfortunately , he only remembers some turn at some places not the exit number not the name of the place. He told us "You take me there then I can recognize but I can't tell how to go there"!!Can you imagine a better navigator??

So, we set out for this audacious adventure and after roaming around for an hour or so around Miami, finally we reached the parking lot of a beach. My friend told us the name of the beach sounds familiar to him, but as opposed to what he promised before, he can't recognize the place!! Anyway, we entered the parking place hoping to get some information from the security guard there and to make things worse for us, there was a lady at the ticket counter. How could we ask a lady whether that is the nude beach!!! Everyone was hesitant but at the same time not ready to back off after coming so far. So, I (Why me? I don't know. Either I was the foolest of the lot so they could have convinced me or somewhere I had read before leaders step up in situations when no one else does !!) finally gathered some courage and approached the lady

"Mamm..(mumbling already) is it the XYZ (I don't remember the exact name now) beach?" Even though we had read the name at the entrance but we had no other idea of starting the discussion..
Lady: "Yes, it is the nude beach you are looking for. $20 per hour"!!! We were still as if struck by a lightning, we did not expect to be exposed and that too in front of a lady that we were looking for a nude beach. We might be just interested to visit the beach in general and not interested in that "special" fenced area!! GOD knows what made her think like that, but I hope it was not evident on our facial expression.Still feel shame about that incident :(

Story #4:

This is the second part of the story related to the same beach, happened after a year during another trip, it was time to guide our juniors. This time, we did not have any difficulty reaching there, enjoyed a lot and came back to our apartment. Everyone got involved chit-chatting of what they have seen, they have done there etc. Suddenly I saw one of our junior very depressed, not taking part in the discussion and sitting aloof.

"Kyu re kya huan?..tu itna udas kyu hain" (what happened? why looking depressed? ) I asked...
"Nehi actually not feeling good, mujhe wahape(he was referring to the beach) nehi jana chahiye tha" (I shd not have gone to that beach)..he replied.
"are thik hain" I said, "parents ko thodi pata chalega, aur tera abhi GF bhi nehi hain...so why r u worrying"? (anyway parents will not know this and you do not have a GF yet to answer, so chill)
He replied instantly "yeh thik nehi huan, kuch cheese ey shadi ke bad hi dekhna chaiye"!!!(This was not right, certain things should only be seen after marriage!!) I have never heard a better one liner than this in my entire life.