পুজোর সময় কলকাতা যাওয়ার জন্য ব্যাকুলতা আর নেই, ছোটবেলার যেসব বন্ধুদের
সাথে পুজো কাটতো সেইসব বন্ধুদের অনেকেই আজ কলকাতায় নেই, নেই এখানে সকালের
সেই চেনা হিমেল হাওয়া, নেই বর্ষার ঘন কালো মেঘ কেটে গিয়ে নীল ক্যানভাসে
পেঁজা তুলো। কলকাতার পুজোর অনেক কিছুই এখানে নেই। তবু যা আছে সেটা দিয়েই
মনকে বোঝাতে হয়, মন ভরাতে হয়। আর ধীরে ধীরে সময়ের সাথে সাথে মিস্ করাগুলোর
সাথে আপস ও হয়ে যায়। পাওয়া যায় নতুন বন্ধু, পাওয়া যায় নতুন পুজো। এখন আর
পুজোর সময় কেউ কলকাতা গেলে, নিজে যেতে পারছিনা বলে মন খারাপ হয় না, বরং
উল্টে এটা মনে হয় যে 'এমা, অমুক তো আমাদের হায়দ্রাবাদ এর পুজোটা এবার মিস
করবে'।
ভগবান, পুজো মণ্ডপ, পুরোহিত - এসব তো নিমিত্ত মাত্র। উৎসব এর
প্রাসঙ্গিকতাই তো পরিবার-পরিজন-বন্ধু-বান্ধব কে নিয়েই. আগামী চারটে দিন তাই
শুধু হই, হুল্লোড়, খাওয়া দাওয়া, চেঁচা মিচি, ঠাকুর দেখা আর ভেসে যাওয়া। আর
গত এক মাসে মর্নিং ওয়াক করে যে ২ কিলো চর্বি ঝরিয়েছি, সেটাকে সুদে আসলে
উসুল করে নেয়া। কলকাতায় নয়ত তাতে কি যায় আসে, এটা তো গ্লোবালাইজেসান এর
সময়। ৪টে বাঙালি আর ১টা দুর্গা পুজো, প্রাণ ভরে হাসতে এর থেকে বেশি আর কিছু
লাগে কি।
শুভ মহালয়া… সবাই কে নিয়ে আনন্দ করুন, সুস্থ থাকুন, সুন্দর থাকুন। পুজো
আপনাদের সবার ভালো কাটুক…
Showing posts with label Life is Beautiful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life is Beautiful. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Our Eid, Their Durga Puja
The religious demarcation does not leave as much an unfathomable impression on the aged mind as it does on a young soul. Being grown up, you make a choice and take a decision, but for the younger ones, who are yet to conceive the true essence of religion, it is baffling as well as sometimes heart breaking not being able to realize why Durga Puja is “their” festival where as Eid is “our”s.
All my close friends till date are from non-Muslim background & I never seemed to have questioned why. Neither had I any prejudice of considering their religion before making friends, nor my traditional parents ever forced me to be friend with “Muslims” only .They were my closest circle and they still are and I never found difference in religious beliefs making any interventions ever into that sacred territory.
But it was that time of the year, when the two biggest festival of both these religion, the Durga Puja & the Eid, were celebrated I used to find myself secluded from this known circle of mine. Neither did they do it intentionally, nor did I keep myself away. I was never fascinated about wearing new clothes during festival, but when they used to boast of their increasing count of Pujo’r Jama (Puja shopping), I wished the same for me, too. When I saw all their houses coming to live with pre-puja preparation, it was the usual day-in-day-out in our house. The gentle touch of the sweet breeze without the suffocating humidity from the previous rainy season, the blue sky above except a cluster of clouds scattered throughout, the huge puja mandaps being built and the roads being lit up to embrace the Mother Goddess, everything in the whole environment seemed to have gone for a facelift except my nearest vicinity being the usual same, everywhere I used to sense that pujo pujo gandho (I could not translate it into English, but here are the ingredients to make that "pujo pujo smell" in the comments section of this post ) , except no activity, no hustling bustling in and around our house.
Of all the four days, I missed the Ashtami the most. All the people used to gather at the pujo pandels to offer the Anjali to Debi Durga. While for the elders, it was devotion time, it was that unique golden opportunity of the year for the Gen Next. The boy would anxiously wait for her since morning and plan the timing for Anjali together (the girl will obviously come with her family, so the enactment had to be perfect with precious timing as if they just bumped into each other to sweep away any suspicion). Therefore, on the D-day, while all my friends would be rigorously working on their self made assignment, I would be trying my heart out to concentrate on my studies, just to distract myself from being left alone, just to brush off the despondency of not being able to offer my Anjali with her, not being able to contemplate that rare glimpse of her in those gorgeous sarees (Well…for those looking at me with a suspicious look, you know most of these were one-sided that time & today I don’t have slender idea of where she is & I am happily married, happy ha?).
Nabami night is the one, I would be earnestly looking forward, when all of us would go for our puja darshan. This was the only breather for me in those suffocating four days, when, I would be among them again and enjoy the festival, which is as much of mine as of theirs. We would roam around the town for Debi darshan with most of us eagerly looking for the "other" debi, the love of our life, how fabulous they look in their puja dresses, we would also keep an vigil so that we don’t get caught off guard by any of our teachers, and we would finally end our excursion by having an sumptuous meal in a restaurant (in those days we did not have cultures of eating at places every now and then and so we would look for this day to have a full meal outside, of our choice and most importantly sponsored by parents :D)
And when it was Eid for us, my day would start with praying Eid er Namaz at the nearby mosque in the morning, taking blessings from the elders and giving blessing to my younger sister too, a 100 rupee note,and then having delicious meals in friend's & neighbor's places. Somtime it also included various sports competition arranged by a local club. But amidst all these, I would still feel solitary, my celebration being incomplete and would be impatiently looking for the afternoon, when all my friends would visit our house. Then only, my Eid celebration would be in full swing. Without them, it would be just another day gone by.
Today, staying away from Kolkata I don't miss Durga Puja as much as I did then and I also don't miss Eid without my friends, for my very own circle has grown up with my wife, brother-in-law, nieces and likes. I have also realized friendship is not about meeting them day in day out, more importantly be there when they need. But the silent solitariness of those 4 days still scrape my inside, and the ineffable pain of missing those precious moments makes my heart tattered at times. My sacrosanct childhood questions my profane adulthood "Was I incomplete? And why was me different from my coevals"? Is it because the month long Puja'r chuti, the family vacation, the Rabindra Sangeet being played out at almost every Puja pandels, everything created an exuberance that wrapped the whole ambiance which Eid never did for me.Or is it because somewhere the thin underlying religious difference played its part, if I was to offer Anjali with them and if they were to pray Eid er namaz with me, religion would have reached the pinnacle of divinity. If i had Muslim friends, would the celebration be different? Whatever it may be, the aged me never had an answer to the question of that effervescent child and I will never have the answer...
All my close friends till date are from non-Muslim background & I never seemed to have questioned why. Neither had I any prejudice of considering their religion before making friends, nor my traditional parents ever forced me to be friend with “Muslims” only .They were my closest circle and they still are and I never found difference in religious beliefs making any interventions ever into that sacred territory.
But it was that time of the year, when the two biggest festival of both these religion, the Durga Puja & the Eid, were celebrated I used to find myself secluded from this known circle of mine. Neither did they do it intentionally, nor did I keep myself away. I was never fascinated about wearing new clothes during festival, but when they used to boast of their increasing count of Pujo’r Jama (Puja shopping), I wished the same for me, too. When I saw all their houses coming to live with pre-puja preparation, it was the usual day-in-day-out in our house. The gentle touch of the sweet breeze without the suffocating humidity from the previous rainy season, the blue sky above except a cluster of clouds scattered throughout, the huge puja mandaps being built and the roads being lit up to embrace the Mother Goddess, everything in the whole environment seemed to have gone for a facelift except my nearest vicinity being the usual same, everywhere I used to sense that pujo pujo gandho (I could not translate it into English, but here are the ingredients to make that "pujo pujo smell" in the comments section of this post ) , except no activity, no hustling bustling in and around our house.
Of all the four days, I missed the Ashtami the most. All the people used to gather at the pujo pandels to offer the Anjali to Debi Durga. While for the elders, it was devotion time, it was that unique golden opportunity of the year for the Gen Next. The boy would anxiously wait for her since morning and plan the timing for Anjali together (the girl will obviously come with her family, so the enactment had to be perfect with precious timing as if they just bumped into each other to sweep away any suspicion). Therefore, on the D-day, while all my friends would be rigorously working on their self made assignment, I would be trying my heart out to concentrate on my studies, just to distract myself from being left alone, just to brush off the despondency of not being able to offer my Anjali with her, not being able to contemplate that rare glimpse of her in those gorgeous sarees (Well…for those looking at me with a suspicious look, you know most of these were one-sided that time & today I don’t have slender idea of where she is & I am happily married, happy ha?).
Nabami night is the one, I would be earnestly looking forward, when all of us would go for our puja darshan. This was the only breather for me in those suffocating four days, when, I would be among them again and enjoy the festival, which is as much of mine as of theirs. We would roam around the town for Debi darshan with most of us eagerly looking for the "other" debi, the love of our life, how fabulous they look in their puja dresses, we would also keep an vigil so that we don’t get caught off guard by any of our teachers, and we would finally end our excursion by having an sumptuous meal in a restaurant (in those days we did not have cultures of eating at places every now and then and so we would look for this day to have a full meal outside, of our choice and most importantly sponsored by parents :D)
And when it was Eid for us, my day would start with praying Eid er Namaz at the nearby mosque in the morning, taking blessings from the elders and giving blessing to my younger sister too, a 100 rupee note,and then having delicious meals in friend's & neighbor's places. Somtime it also included various sports competition arranged by a local club. But amidst all these, I would still feel solitary, my celebration being incomplete and would be impatiently looking for the afternoon, when all my friends would visit our house. Then only, my Eid celebration would be in full swing. Without them, it would be just another day gone by.
Today, staying away from Kolkata I don't miss Durga Puja as much as I did then and I also don't miss Eid without my friends, for my very own circle has grown up with my wife, brother-in-law, nieces and likes. I have also realized friendship is not about meeting them day in day out, more importantly be there when they need. But the silent solitariness of those 4 days still scrape my inside, and the ineffable pain of missing those precious moments makes my heart tattered at times. My sacrosanct childhood questions my profane adulthood "Was I incomplete? And why was me different from my coevals"? Is it because the month long Puja'r chuti, the family vacation, the Rabindra Sangeet being played out at almost every Puja pandels, everything created an exuberance that wrapped the whole ambiance which Eid never did for me.Or is it because somewhere the thin underlying religious difference played its part, if I was to offer Anjali with them and if they were to pray Eid er namaz with me, religion would have reached the pinnacle of divinity. If i had Muslim friends, would the celebration be different? Whatever it may be, the aged me never had an answer to the question of that effervescent child and I will never have the answer...
Friday, September 11, 2009
My MOTO: Memories Forever
Disclaimer:
This is my personal opinion about one of the organization I had worked before and I have intentionally ommitted the name of the organization to avoid any
unnecessary controversy. I have used "MOTO" below whenever I need to refer to the organization.
I repeat this is my "personal opinion" & everyone is entitled to have their own and agree/disagree with me.********************************************************************************
Hardly a couple of months back, with MOTO announcing the closure of one of its business division in Hyderabad, the journey finally came to an end. The journey, that started a decade ago in a tiny little corner of a rented house with very few employees, made MOTO-Hyderabad standing on its own feet on the Indian IT map. Over the years, it had created an identity of its own, shredded the image of being a younger sibling of MOTO-Bangalore, crafted an platform for so many success stories worldwide. The journey reached its pinnacle with the release of "MyRazr" (dummy name of a world famous mobile phone), when it almost become the #1 player in the mobile world.
But unfortunately of late, a combination of various reasons resulted in declining market share & the graph started descending. People had started to leave for better opportunity. There were those who tried to hang on till the very end, but some of them had to be practical, leave their emotional attachment aside and move on. But everyone, including the one who already left and the one still hopeful, prayed that MOTO should bounce back. The most surprising fact was that more than the one still being with MOTO, it was those who already left, wanted MOTO to return to its glory. They already had seen the world outside, the work culture, the relationship among people and so many other factors that they were quick to realize what made MOTO stand out from the rest of its contemporaries. Every now and then I used to receive those phone calls from my ex-colleagues eagerly waiting to know any sign of a good news. They were on their toes. just to be back to the old family. I could see the dreams of reuniting again in their eyes.
With the decision of MOTO shutting down one of its business division in Hyderabad center, these dreams are all shattered. Everyone has accepted the reality that the distant hope they had of going back to MOTO again, is no longer feasible. The far reaching effect of this lost hope is more than the immediate effect of some people losing their job. You loose a job today, you will hopefully find another one tomorrow, but it is painful to accept that you will hardly get those relationships where one is in hurry to catch the train to go home and his manager is doing his work sitting at his desk to meet the deadline or the one where you can ask for your manager's opinion about the organization that you are going for an interview next week or even the one, where an appraisal meeting went for 5 hours till the wee hours in the morning because the person being appraised had lot of issues to discuss other than his own assessment and the manager believed it was his responsibility to listen to all those issues first, whether or not they are relevant, can be discussed upon. MOTO is not the only organization in the world, where you find such instances, but such examples are very few and MOTO is one of the best among them.
There are not too many places in the world which teaches you that human beings are more important than the mere deliverables, that taking care of personal responsibilities is as equally important as taking care of professional assignments, that relationships are built over time with respect and trust irrespective of an individual's position in the organization. It is always believed that a base should be strong enough to build a monument and I am fortunate MOTO has given me that base both professionally and personally. And the same feeling is echoed by others, too some of them even are introspecting whether they took the right decision by leaving MOTO. I guess it was then rightly said that when something is not with you, then only you realize its actual worth.
Like every other good thing, this was to come to an end and may be so did it happen. But the name "MOTO" is etched into our hearts, those memories are still vivid in our minds and that very dream of reuniting again may be still alive in some eyes. Some dreams are too good to be realized, but still we should dream, who knows one day it might just materialize.
Note:I would specially request to all my MOTO ex-colleagues to share your experiences with MOTO. And stick to "MOTO" please, don't take the name while commenting :-)
This is my personal opinion about one of the organization I had worked before and I have intentionally ommitted the name of the organization to avoid any
unnecessary controversy. I have used "MOTO" below whenever I need to refer to the organization.
I repeat this is my "personal opinion" & everyone is entitled to have their own and agree/disagree with me.********************************************************************************
Hardly a couple of months back, with MOTO announcing the closure of one of its business division in Hyderabad, the journey finally came to an end. The journey, that started a decade ago in a tiny little corner of a rented house with very few employees, made MOTO-Hyderabad standing on its own feet on the Indian IT map. Over the years, it had created an identity of its own, shredded the image of being a younger sibling of MOTO-Bangalore, crafted an platform for so many success stories worldwide. The journey reached its pinnacle with the release of "MyRazr" (dummy name of a world famous mobile phone), when it almost become the #1 player in the mobile world.
But unfortunately of late, a combination of various reasons resulted in declining market share & the graph started descending. People had started to leave for better opportunity. There were those who tried to hang on till the very end, but some of them had to be practical, leave their emotional attachment aside and move on. But everyone, including the one who already left and the one still hopeful, prayed that MOTO should bounce back. The most surprising fact was that more than the one still being with MOTO, it was those who already left, wanted MOTO to return to its glory. They already had seen the world outside, the work culture, the relationship among people and so many other factors that they were quick to realize what made MOTO stand out from the rest of its contemporaries. Every now and then I used to receive those phone calls from my ex-colleagues eagerly waiting to know any sign of a good news. They were on their toes. just to be back to the old family. I could see the dreams of reuniting again in their eyes.
With the decision of MOTO shutting down one of its business division in Hyderabad center, these dreams are all shattered. Everyone has accepted the reality that the distant hope they had of going back to MOTO again, is no longer feasible. The far reaching effect of this lost hope is more than the immediate effect of some people losing their job. You loose a job today, you will hopefully find another one tomorrow, but it is painful to accept that you will hardly get those relationships where one is in hurry to catch the train to go home and his manager is doing his work sitting at his desk to meet the deadline or the one where you can ask for your manager's opinion about the organization that you are going for an interview next week or even the one, where an appraisal meeting went for 5 hours till the wee hours in the morning because the person being appraised had lot of issues to discuss other than his own assessment and the manager believed it was his responsibility to listen to all those issues first, whether or not they are relevant, can be discussed upon. MOTO is not the only organization in the world, where you find such instances, but such examples are very few and MOTO is one of the best among them.
There are not too many places in the world which teaches you that human beings are more important than the mere deliverables, that taking care of personal responsibilities is as equally important as taking care of professional assignments, that relationships are built over time with respect and trust irrespective of an individual's position in the organization. It is always believed that a base should be strong enough to build a monument and I am fortunate MOTO has given me that base both professionally and personally. And the same feeling is echoed by others, too some of them even are introspecting whether they took the right decision by leaving MOTO. I guess it was then rightly said that when something is not with you, then only you realize its actual worth.
Like every other good thing, this was to come to an end and may be so did it happen. But the name "MOTO" is etched into our hearts, those memories are still vivid in our minds and that very dream of reuniting again may be still alive in some eyes. Some dreams are too good to be realized, but still we should dream, who knows one day it might just materialize.
Note:I would specially request to all my MOTO ex-colleagues to share your experiences with MOTO. And stick to "MOTO" please, don't take the name while commenting :-)
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The day I became a Motorolan
It was one of those busy college days (it was 14th Aug'2001) when the campus placement was in full swing. The result for ST Microelectronics' written test was just out and as I could not make it, I was just thinking of what next. One of my friend (it was Kusumita for whoever knows her)suddenly came running to inform me that Motorola would be coming to our campus day after tommorrow(16th Aug'2001) and she seemed to be very excited. But my reaction was expectedly indifferent as I used to consider Motorola to fall under that elite category, where I can't belong!!
Before that, I had failed in 6 consecutive interviews, had tried every possible combination to perfect my attire, with tie, without tie, full sleeve, half sleeve and all sort of technical preparation,too, but nothing seemed to be working. Today I took the approach of nothing more to loose,nothing worse could happen.So, on the morning of 16th August,2001, I went to the college hoping that it is better to be rejected as early as possible so that I can come back home and prepare for the next MNC coming. I was wearing a half sleeve shirt, a trouser which I had alredy worn before, unlike a new one taken from the almirah which I used to do for my previous interviews, there was no tie, I even did not shave on that morning!! And as if this was not enough, I appeared for the CS written test where I am from ETCE background and I had applied for ETCE tests in all my previous attemtps. The test was over and I was eagerly waiting to know who among my friends got through as I had no hope about myself.
After couple of hours or so, the results for the test was out. Kusumita came all smiling as she cracked it. I went towards the notice board and I must admit there was a little hope (without any reason)at the furthest corner in my heart.After all, miracles do happen!!
And miracle did happen. I found my name at the end of the list, I thought may be I was better in CS than in ETCE and was cursing myself for wasting my 4 years studying ETCE. Then I was just browsing towards the top of the list to find out who all made it and suddenly, to my utter shock(I will surely not call that a surprise) I discovered that I was being listed in the ETCE list, where as I appeared for CS test. All my smiles evaporated immidiately, as I was more than sure this was a mistake. I came out from there, sat alone under a tree and was going through numerous thouhts as what I should do now, should I tell them that they have done a mistake or should I just keep silent and let them find out.
After a lot of brain storming within myself, I convinced myself to let the truth prevail. I went to them, informed everything and expressed my opinion that there might be a mistake somewhere. Here came another surprise, a bigger one when they told me that it was not a mistake. Thanks to my hard work during my school and college days, because of the excellent academic record I have, they thought of giving me a second chance to see whether I can prove my potential to be a Motorolan. The rest is history. After several round of interviews ( one round extra for me as I had to start from scratch to prove myself in ETCE) the final results were out around 11pm and I had made it. What was impossible for me just 2 days back, is now a reality. If ever I had any doubt about the existance of GOD, it was gone for ever that day. I dont know and I will never know why almighty chose me, but according to the religious belief, I might have done some good work in the past and this is the prize I got.
From that day onwards till the very last day of my tenure in Motorola, whenever I was down, whenever the thought came to my mind of leaving Motorola, whenever something was not working for me in Motorola, I used to remind myself of 16th August,2001 and tell myself that may be, may be GOD chose Motorola for me and if it is not working for me, it is my fault and no one's else. That gave me motivation to go forward, to work harder and made me feel I belong to this place, I work with those elite group of people, which I had thought I could never belong to.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
On my 30th Birthday...
Man!! I am already 30!! The realization came just 2 days back. I knew my birthday was approaching, but I did not realize that magic figure of "30" until 2 days back. And I was paused for a moment.Will I celebrate my 60th b'day? If not, then I have already spent half of my life. All my near and dear ones seemed to appear in front of me, whom I have to leave one day.Did I feel like crying? I felt so. It was a difficult moment. The thought of one's death comes to everyone's mind at times or the other, but it never came to me so intensely. It was too heavy for me to let that thought creep into my mind further, so I had to close the door. It was just a few seconds, but it took me a journey 30 years forward and I had a glimpse of what is lying ahead.Everyone of us have to face it one day.
But today is my b'day yaar!! Let's try to forget those thoughts for a moment. I woke up in the morning after receiving a sms from my sister which says "Be happy and keep them happy who brought you here". It again struck me. Am I keeping them happy? Are they proud of me? They know the answer best but I am making a promise to myself today that I will keep my sister's words, if not already. Today I stay miles away from my parents to earn my bread and butter and at the end of each passing day my heart becomes heavier with the thought that I have missed one more day staying close to them.Every day of my life starts with prayer and ends with the same prayer "GOD, please do something..please let me go close to them".But GOD hasn't answered me yet.Feeling heavy again, but can't let my emotion takes control over me, I said to myself "STOP it here!! It's your b'day, it's time to enjoy". "Oh yes", I realize.
I can see my orkut scrap book is floating with wishes since yesterday, received few calls from close friends.But the number of calls certainly have reduced over the years. There was a sense of pride during the school/college days as who wishes the b'day boy/girl first, but it does not seem to have any relevance today.I am not complaining about it,either.Everyone of us had got busy with our individual lives, but in spite of everything when two my close friends, one flew more than 1000 miles and the other took one of the biggest risk of his life by driving 300 miles on US highway for the first time after getting his DL, to make it to my b'day, I simply had no words for them.I used to feel bad if someone close forgot to wish me but today I realize it is more important to have a friend whom you can always bank on at your difficult times, even if he forgets your birthday. The definition of friendship has certainly changed for me over the years, wishing "Happy Birth Day" is the peripheral, not the core of friendship.
All the wishes are pouring in. My wife is cooking the dishes i like most. My parents are sending their blessings and praying for my long and happy life. But still amidst all these, I am not able to get rid of that "30"!! Is it because this very thought never come to my mind before or is the realization true that i might have already lived half of my life, anything extra i would consider as bonus.Live is a 360 degree circle and from now on, every step will take me towards where from I started. It is as if I am reminding myself that if i have not already woken up, it is time for me to wake up. If anything worth doing is not yet done, I should start doing it. On of my ex-colleague and mentor once told me "When you will be lying on your death bed and you will be looking back, you should be proud of what you have achieved in life, you should be proud of the legacy you are leaving behind. The lesser regrets you will have that day, the happier you will be. And all through our life, our sole aim would be to make us the happiest on that very day".
Therefore, I have set my focus.Henceforth, I will live everyday of my life as if it is my last day on earth. I will do whatever it takes to make my near and dear ones happy. I will try to be a better human being with each passing day. I will make a life so that everyone realizes when i will be no more. I had read a bengali poem long time back, but today i am realizing each words of it....
Jedin tumi pratham eshechile bhabe
Tumi matra kede chile hese chilo sabe
Emon jivan hobe karite gathan
Marane hasibe tumi kadibe bhuban...
Equivalent english translation
When you first came to this world,
you only cried and everyone else smiled
You should make a life so that after death,
you will smile and rest will be crying...
But today is my b'day yaar!! Let's try to forget those thoughts for a moment. I woke up in the morning after receiving a sms from my sister which says "Be happy and keep them happy who brought you here". It again struck me. Am I keeping them happy? Are they proud of me? They know the answer best but I am making a promise to myself today that I will keep my sister's words, if not already. Today I stay miles away from my parents to earn my bread and butter and at the end of each passing day my heart becomes heavier with the thought that I have missed one more day staying close to them.Every day of my life starts with prayer and ends with the same prayer "GOD, please do something..please let me go close to them".But GOD hasn't answered me yet.Feeling heavy again, but can't let my emotion takes control over me, I said to myself "STOP it here!! It's your b'day, it's time to enjoy". "Oh yes", I realize.
I can see my orkut scrap book is floating with wishes since yesterday, received few calls from close friends.But the number of calls certainly have reduced over the years. There was a sense of pride during the school/college days as who wishes the b'day boy/girl first, but it does not seem to have any relevance today.I am not complaining about it,either.Everyone of us had got busy with our individual lives, but in spite of everything when two my close friends, one flew more than 1000 miles and the other took one of the biggest risk of his life by driving 300 miles on US highway for the first time after getting his DL, to make it to my b'day, I simply had no words for them.I used to feel bad if someone close forgot to wish me but today I realize it is more important to have a friend whom you can always bank on at your difficult times, even if he forgets your birthday. The definition of friendship has certainly changed for me over the years, wishing "Happy Birth Day" is the peripheral, not the core of friendship.
All the wishes are pouring in. My wife is cooking the dishes i like most. My parents are sending their blessings and praying for my long and happy life. But still amidst all these, I am not able to get rid of that "30"!! Is it because this very thought never come to my mind before or is the realization true that i might have already lived half of my life, anything extra i would consider as bonus.Live is a 360 degree circle and from now on, every step will take me towards where from I started. It is as if I am reminding myself that if i have not already woken up, it is time for me to wake up. If anything worth doing is not yet done, I should start doing it. On of my ex-colleague and mentor once told me "When you will be lying on your death bed and you will be looking back, you should be proud of what you have achieved in life, you should be proud of the legacy you are leaving behind. The lesser regrets you will have that day, the happier you will be. And all through our life, our sole aim would be to make us the happiest on that very day".
Therefore, I have set my focus.Henceforth, I will live everyday of my life as if it is my last day on earth. I will do whatever it takes to make my near and dear ones happy. I will try to be a better human being with each passing day. I will make a life so that everyone realizes when i will be no more. I had read a bengali poem long time back, but today i am realizing each words of it....
Jedin tumi pratham eshechile bhabe
Tumi matra kede chile hese chilo sabe
Emon jivan hobe karite gathan
Marane hasibe tumi kadibe bhuban...
Equivalent english translation
When you first came to this world,
you only cried and everyone else smiled
You should make a life so that after death,
you will smile and rest will be crying...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Soulmate
To begin with, at an abstraction layer, almost all of us have the same definition. But when we start to break the abstraction into clarity and try to find what lies beneath, we find no two human being have the same concept at a more granular level.It then means that even though everyone of us have a different unique definition of "soulmate", still we (probabilistically most of us) are able to find the right person and happily live ever after with him/her. But is it so simple? Are so many varieties of people living on the earth so that everyone is able to find the perfect match or do most of us pretend to be happy but we are not deep inside or does our definition of that abstract concept no longer hold true once we face the reality?
The process of building the image of one's ideal match starts from the teenage when it is still blurred and it gets a definite shape with more clarity as one grows up.And this process is controlled by many factors, primarily the family background that one belongs to, the society one lives in, the peer circle one is surrounded with and mostly the personality one develops. That's why i thought she must be someone with whom i must "connect" to, she should be aware of all the current affairs so that we never run out of discussion, she must be fluent in English so that i should never feel embarrassed of taking her to any place,she must be a working professional preferably in S/W industry more preferably in the same organization as that of mine so that we can make our on site trips together and so many other criteria, the list will go on and on.
These are I thought the bare minimum criteria one must have to be my soulmate. And standing today, I must admit I was all wrong. I was right till the abstraction, but no more when I tried to break the abstraction. I was right that we should always have something to discuss so that we don't feel bored in each other's presence, but that discussion need not only be centered around current affairs.I was right that I should be proud of her and never feel embarrassed because of her but i was wrong that speaking English is not the only way to make me feel proud.I was right that we should enjoy any trips we make together, but that need not be an on site trip and she does not need to be a S/W professional.
Today i never feel bored in her presence because of her enchanting personality to make any discussion interesting.Today i am proud of her because people appreciate her in spite of the fact that she is not fluent in English and my joy sees no bound when people call me lucky to have her in my life. Needless to say, i do connect to her, because our core values match, our ethics/principles do not contradict and our view towards life do not differ.
So, why is this big difference between what i thought what i wanted and what i now realize what i want. To me, the reason being we do not know what we want in life as a whole and therefore, we do not know whether what we think the best match for us is indeed the best match for us. And to make matter worse for us, we don't listen to our heart, for whom we are searching the mate, rather we try to get the best "deal" for us. And when the "deal" does not match up to our expectation, that is when we realize what we were actually looking for.
This is when one realizes the true meaning of "being loved". You realize nothing else but just the assurance of someone will be your side for the rest of your life, no matter what happens is the biggest deal you can ever sign on. When you hold her tight close to your heart as if you do not want to take a single breath being away from her and when she clings to you as if you are her last support if the world falls apart, is there a more divine feeling? It is said one's soul always remains sacrosanct, no matter if the brain becomes dysfunctional, the mind becomes corrupt. And we must free ourselves from all dilution while searching the mate for that sacred soul.
We will reach the destination....
The process of building the image of one's ideal match starts from the teenage when it is still blurred and it gets a definite shape with more clarity as one grows up.And this process is controlled by many factors, primarily the family background that one belongs to, the society one lives in, the peer circle one is surrounded with and mostly the personality one develops. That's why i thought she must be someone with whom i must "connect" to, she should be aware of all the current affairs so that we never run out of discussion, she must be fluent in English so that i should never feel embarrassed of taking her to any place,she must be a working professional preferably in S/W industry more preferably in the same organization as that of mine so that we can make our on site trips together and so many other criteria, the list will go on and on.
These are I thought the bare minimum criteria one must have to be my soulmate. And standing today, I must admit I was all wrong. I was right till the abstraction, but no more when I tried to break the abstraction. I was right that we should always have something to discuss so that we don't feel bored in each other's presence, but that discussion need not only be centered around current affairs.I was right that I should be proud of her and never feel embarrassed because of her but i was wrong that speaking English is not the only way to make me feel proud.I was right that we should enjoy any trips we make together, but that need not be an on site trip and she does not need to be a S/W professional.
Today i never feel bored in her presence because of her enchanting personality to make any discussion interesting.Today i am proud of her because people appreciate her in spite of the fact that she is not fluent in English and my joy sees no bound when people call me lucky to have her in my life. Needless to say, i do connect to her, because our core values match, our ethics/principles do not contradict and our view towards life do not differ.
So, why is this big difference between what i thought what i wanted and what i now realize what i want. To me, the reason being we do not know what we want in life as a whole and therefore, we do not know whether what we think the best match for us is indeed the best match for us. And to make matter worse for us, we don't listen to our heart, for whom we are searching the mate, rather we try to get the best "deal" for us. And when the "deal" does not match up to our expectation, that is when we realize what we were actually looking for.
This is when one realizes the true meaning of "being loved". You realize nothing else but just the assurance of someone will be your side for the rest of your life, no matter what happens is the biggest deal you can ever sign on. When you hold her tight close to your heart as if you do not want to take a single breath being away from her and when she clings to you as if you are her last support if the world falls apart, is there a more divine feeling? It is said one's soul always remains sacrosanct, no matter if the brain becomes dysfunctional, the mind becomes corrupt. And we must free ourselves from all dilution while searching the mate for that sacred soul.
We will reach the destination....
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Turning point of my life
I have been thinking for quite some time as what should I write in my very first blog. Should it be something related to my profession, or rather should it be something personal to me. As a human being, I have always listened to my heart than to my brain whenever I am in double mind and I chose to follow the same protocol here, too. I have finally decided to write something which is very close to my heart, an incident which I consider to be the turning point of my life.
I was in 6th standard then. We were a family of four including my parents and my younger sister and living happily in our moderate house. My father was suddenly trasferred to Dhanbad for next 5 years, he would come to meet us but that may be once in a month or even lesser than that. We would not be seeing him everyday leaving for office in the morning and coming home in the evening. As a kid, I always stayed with my parents, so I was not sure how to react when I first heard this. And I did not realize the pain until the day my father left for Dhanbad.
In the afternoon, I was sitting in my study room, trying hard to concentrate on my studies but I was unable to do so. I was trying hard not to cry, at least in front of my mother, but mothers are from a different world. They understand everything, even if you don't tell them. She consoled me, tried to convince me that 5 years is not a big time and it would pass by just like that. And at the end she told me with firm voice "Don't cry...study hard and be a gentleman. People should not get an opportunity to point finger at me(to her) and say that I could not do your upbringing properly because your father was away from us". I could use her words within quotes as these words still keep mumbling in my ears.
That was it for me.I might not have understood everything she said at that time, but later when I came to my room and was going through those words again and again in my mind, I gradually came to realize what was actually meant. Of all the expectations she had from me, I was very clear on one thing from that day onwards that I should never let my parents down, be it whatever. Even today whenever I find my self at the cross road of good and bad, I try to remind me those words of her and follow the right path.
And as a student, I was mediocre. My target in the school exam used to be to be among the top 20-25. I never thought of being in that "Top 10" as I never thought myself that talented and I kind of accepted it. Life was going like this for me until the Durga puja came and we all went to Dhanbad to stay with my father for the next one month. As I had nothing to do, no friend to play with, nowhere to go, all my time which earlier was spent in activities other than studies, is now being spent only in studies and surprisingly I did not find studying to be boring , rather it was interesting ( I know lot of eyebrows would be raised, but this is fact). I used to go to a neighbour's house to see the cricket matches being played in Sharjah and Aquib javed did that infamous hat-trick, I remember I came home crying and never went to their house again. I think it was blessing in disguise, that I did not waste any more time in watching cricket and concentrated completely on my studies.
As a result, I was among the top ten (precisely 7th) in annual exam for 6th standard and I never looked back. Earlier my target used to be not to rank below 20-25, now it had become not less than 7th. As I grew and improved further, my target used to also climb with my progress. To many people it would be just "another" story, but to me that one month along with my mother's expectation from me changed everything around me. Had this not happened, I believe I could not come even closer to what I have achieved in my career. And being religious, I had begun to believe whatever GOD does for us, it is for our betterment only, however painful it looks temporarily. Even today, when I go through bad patch in life, I remind myself that my father used to cry so much in those days as he could not bear the unbearable pain of staying away from young kids, but he hardly knew that all his pain is actually making the future of his son. Who knows, may be if I was destined to reach where I am today, I might have reached here by some other means, had my father not been transferred, but I don't know what did not happen and what could have happened. I only know what has happened and that's why I consider this as the "turning point" of my life.
I was in 6th standard then. We were a family of four including my parents and my younger sister and living happily in our moderate house. My father was suddenly trasferred to Dhanbad for next 5 years, he would come to meet us but that may be once in a month or even lesser than that. We would not be seeing him everyday leaving for office in the morning and coming home in the evening. As a kid, I always stayed with my parents, so I was not sure how to react when I first heard this. And I did not realize the pain until the day my father left for Dhanbad.
In the afternoon, I was sitting in my study room, trying hard to concentrate on my studies but I was unable to do so. I was trying hard not to cry, at least in front of my mother, but mothers are from a different world. They understand everything, even if you don't tell them. She consoled me, tried to convince me that 5 years is not a big time and it would pass by just like that. And at the end she told me with firm voice "Don't cry...study hard and be a gentleman. People should not get an opportunity to point finger at me(to her) and say that I could not do your upbringing properly because your father was away from us". I could use her words within quotes as these words still keep mumbling in my ears.
That was it for me.I might not have understood everything she said at that time, but later when I came to my room and was going through those words again and again in my mind, I gradually came to realize what was actually meant. Of all the expectations she had from me, I was very clear on one thing from that day onwards that I should never let my parents down, be it whatever. Even today whenever I find my self at the cross road of good and bad, I try to remind me those words of her and follow the right path.
And as a student, I was mediocre. My target in the school exam used to be to be among the top 20-25. I never thought of being in that "Top 10" as I never thought myself that talented and I kind of accepted it. Life was going like this for me until the Durga puja came and we all went to Dhanbad to stay with my father for the next one month. As I had nothing to do, no friend to play with, nowhere to go, all my time which earlier was spent in activities other than studies, is now being spent only in studies and surprisingly I did not find studying to be boring , rather it was interesting ( I know lot of eyebrows would be raised, but this is fact). I used to go to a neighbour's house to see the cricket matches being played in Sharjah and Aquib javed did that infamous hat-trick, I remember I came home crying and never went to their house again. I think it was blessing in disguise, that I did not waste any more time in watching cricket and concentrated completely on my studies.
As a result, I was among the top ten (precisely 7th) in annual exam for 6th standard and I never looked back. Earlier my target used to be not to rank below 20-25, now it had become not less than 7th. As I grew and improved further, my target used to also climb with my progress. To many people it would be just "another" story, but to me that one month along with my mother's expectation from me changed everything around me. Had this not happened, I believe I could not come even closer to what I have achieved in my career. And being religious, I had begun to believe whatever GOD does for us, it is for our betterment only, however painful it looks temporarily. Even today, when I go through bad patch in life, I remind myself that my father used to cry so much in those days as he could not bear the unbearable pain of staying away from young kids, but he hardly knew that all his pain is actually making the future of his son. Who knows, may be if I was destined to reach where I am today, I might have reached here by some other means, had my father not been transferred, but I don't know what did not happen and what could have happened. I only know what has happened and that's why I consider this as the "turning point" of my life.
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