Tuesday, July 21, 2009


To begin with, at an abstraction layer, almost all of us have the same definition. But when we start to break the abstraction into clarity and try to find what lies beneath, we find no two human being have the same concept at a more granular level.It then means that even though everyone of us have a different unique definition of "soulmate", still we (probabilistically most of us) are able to find the right person and happily live ever after with him/her. But is it so simple? Are so many varieties of people living on the earth so that everyone is able to find the perfect match or do most of us pretend to be happy but we are not deep inside or does our definition of that abstract concept no longer hold true once we face the reality?

The process of building the image of one's ideal match starts from the teenage when it is still blurred and it gets a definite shape with more clarity as one grows up.And this process is controlled by many factors, primarily the family background that one belongs to, the society one lives in, the peer circle one is surrounded with and mostly the personality one develops. That's why i thought she must be someone with whom i must "connect" to, she should be aware of all the current affairs so that we never run out of discussion, she must be fluent in English so that i should never feel embarrassed of taking her to any place,she must be a working professional preferably in S/W industry more preferably in the same organization as that of mine so that we can make our on site trips together and so many other criteria, the list will go on and on.

These are I thought the bare minimum criteria one must have to be my soulmate. And standing today, I must admit I was all wrong. I was right till the abstraction, but no more when I tried to break the abstraction. I was right that we should always have something to discuss so that we don't feel bored in each other's presence, but that discussion need not only be centered around current affairs.I was right that I should be proud of her and never feel embarrassed because of her but i was wrong that speaking English is not the only way to make me feel proud.I was right that we should enjoy any trips we make together, but that need not be an on site trip and she does not need to be a S/W professional.
Today i never feel bored in her presence because of her enchanting personality to make any discussion interesting.Today i am proud of her because people appreciate her in spite of the fact that she is not fluent in English and my joy sees no bound when people call me lucky to have her in my life. Needless to say, i do connect to her, because our core values match, our ethics/principles do not contradict and our view towards life do not differ.

So, why is this big difference between what i thought what i wanted and what i now realize what i want. To me, the reason being we do not know what we want in life as a whole and therefore, we do not know whether what we think the best match for us is indeed the best match for us. And to make matter worse for us, we don't listen to our heart, for whom we are searching the mate, rather we try to get the best "deal" for us. And when the "deal" does not match up to our expectation, that is when we realize what we were actually looking for.

This is when one realizes the true meaning of "being loved". You realize nothing else but just the assurance of someone will be your side for the rest of your life, no matter what happens is the biggest deal you can ever sign on. When you hold her tight close to your heart as if you do not want to take a single breath being away from her and when she clings to you as if you are her last support if the world falls apart, is there a more divine feeling? It is said one's soul always remains sacrosanct, no matter if the brain becomes dysfunctional, the mind becomes corrupt. And we must free ourselves from all dilution while searching the mate for that sacred soul.

We will reach the destination....


  1. Brilliantly put !!! Could not have put it better in any way! So simply written, yet so deep in meaning. Thanks for this post!

  2. Well, its great to live life with one's soul-mate! Congratulations on that, nothing can match it, I guess!

    Ummmm, let me think about my soulmate..
    Oh no! There was no image of her in my mind. I never thought about her looks, profession or her vocabulary. I was just overjoyed if any lady smiled seeing me! Those days were great days and each time the lady was a soul-mate to me!

    Sorry about trying to be funny! Great post indeed!

    Its great to fall in love after marriage, you are at right spot bro!

    Review this post each 6 months, it would be fun I guess!

  3. So well written, it got me thinking for a while :)

  4. Rahaman, too good an explanation. I like it and am amazed, you had such a good vocabulary boss. Very Impressive.

  5. Your feelings about Soulmate matches with mine in to to during my early-married life..Not that now it has changed a hell, but my idea about soulmate has got fine-tuning with the passage of time. Soulmate and Life-partner are not always the same person! Even now I search for my soulmate in my wife. sometimes I find my soulamte in her and sometimes not. Married life should have the power to accommodate both liked and disliked matters! Now I can romantically find out the best out of the worst part of my wife!

  6. @Samik,
    your one word of appreciation is a 1000 watt push for me to write more.Thanks for the encouragement.Looking forward to see more comments from you..

    I guess everyone of us specially the men had various soul mates at different phase of life as per your definition :P. I thought of touching the lighter nodes, too but left it thinking it was not going well with the tone of the post.

    And that was a great suggestion to review this post once every 6 months, i will surely do that.

  7. @Deepthi,
    I guess my post did not confuse you.If you had any confusion and if it helped you in any way to clarify your doubts, i am honored :)

    Believe me my friend, i myself is embarassed of my vocabulary knowledge and one of the reason, i have started writing blog is to improve that.

    Precisely that was the basis of this post that your image of your soulmate and your better half may not be an exactly match. Then it depends on us whether we still chase that hypothetical persona and be unhappy.The wiser thing to do would be to revisit our priorities, fine tune them and we will be always happy.

  8. Dear bhaia,
    Happy to see that my comment on your writing on "SOULMATE" did not sent you a wrong message...Thanx..Your writing skill is very good. Keep writing to make your skill excellent! Take care. bye.

  9. This is so beautiful that there are tears in my eyes!

    My best wishes to you and to your soul-mate.

  10. @Ayesha,

    Thanks for your wishes.

  11. This was a really sweet post!!! I am glad you found each other! My best wishes to both of you :)

  12. Thanks IHM:-).

    Yes, this post is really special for me, it was "direct dil se ", not putting my brain at all!!. I think I have to write something really good to surpass this one..

  13. must tell u...this is deep n meaningful:) brilliantly written!:)

    kip writing!:)

    p.s: thanx for reading rhythm's story n also for the appreciation:)

  14. @Divsi,

    Thanks for the appreciation :-). Yes, i feel good about this post, don't know I pulled it though :-(


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