I have been thinking for quite some time as what should I write in my very first blog. Should it be something related to my profession, or rather should it be something personal to me. As a human being, I have always listened to my heart than to my brain whenever I am in double mind and I chose to follow the same protocol here, too. I have finally decided to write something which is very close to my heart, an incident which I consider to be the turning point of my life.
I was in 6th standard then. We were a family of four including my parents and my younger sister and living happily in our moderate house. My father was suddenly trasferred to Dhanbad for next 5 years, he would come to meet us but that may be once in a month or even lesser than that. We would not be seeing him everyday leaving for office in the morning and coming home in the evening. As a kid, I always stayed with my parents, so I was not sure how to react when I first heard this. And I did not realize the pain until the day my father left for Dhanbad.
In the afternoon, I was sitting in my study room, trying hard to concentrate on my studies but I was unable to do so. I was trying hard not to cry, at least in front of my mother, but mothers are from a different world. They understand everything, even if you don't tell them. She consoled me, tried to convince me that 5 years is not a big time and it would pass by just like that. And at the end she told me with firm voice "Don't cry...study hard and be a gentleman. People should not get an opportunity to point finger at me(to her) and say that I could not do your upbringing properly because your father was away from us". I could use her words within quotes as these words still keep mumbling in my ears.
That was it for me.I might not have understood everything she said at that time, but later when I came to my room and was going through those words again and again in my mind, I gradually came to realize what was actually meant. Of all the expectations she had from me, I was very clear on one thing from that day onwards that I should never let my parents down, be it whatever. Even today whenever I find my self at the cross road of good and bad, I try to remind me those words of her and follow the right path.
And as a student, I was mediocre. My target in the school exam used to be to be among the top 20-25. I never thought of being in that "Top 10" as I never thought myself that talented and I kind of accepted it. Life was going like this for me until the Durga puja came and we all went to Dhanbad to stay with my father for the next one month. As I had nothing to do, no friend to play with, nowhere to go, all my time which earlier was spent in activities other than studies, is now being spent only in studies and surprisingly I did not find studying to be boring , rather it was interesting ( I know lot of eyebrows would be raised, but this is fact). I used to go to a neighbour's house to see the cricket matches being played in Sharjah and Aquib javed did that infamous hat-trick, I remember I came home crying and never went to their house again. I think it was blessing in disguise, that I did not waste any more time in watching cricket and concentrated completely on my studies.
As a result, I was among the top ten (precisely 7th) in annual exam for 6th standard and I never looked back. Earlier my target used to be not to rank below 20-25, now it had become not less than 7th. As I grew and improved further, my target used to also climb with my progress. To many people it would be just "another" story, but to me that one month along with my mother's expectation from me changed everything around me. Had this not happened, I believe I could not come even closer to what I have achieved in my career. And being religious, I had begun to believe whatever GOD does for us, it is for our betterment only, however painful it looks temporarily. Even today, when I go through bad patch in life, I remind myself that my father used to cry so much in those days as he could not bear the unbearable pain of staying away from young kids, but he hardly knew that all his pain is actually making the future of his son. Who knows, may be if I was destined to reach where I am today, I might have reached here by some other means, had my father not been transferred, but I don't know what did not happen and what could have happened. I only know what has happened and that's why I consider this as the "turning point" of my life.
I was in 6th standard then. We were a family of four including my parents and my younger sister and living happily in our moderate house. My father was suddenly trasferred to Dhanbad for next 5 years, he would come to meet us but that may be once in a month or even lesser than that. We would not be seeing him everyday leaving for office in the morning and coming home in the evening. As a kid, I always stayed with my parents, so I was not sure how to react when I first heard this. And I did not realize the pain until the day my father left for Dhanbad.
In the afternoon, I was sitting in my study room, trying hard to concentrate on my studies but I was unable to do so. I was trying hard not to cry, at least in front of my mother, but mothers are from a different world. They understand everything, even if you don't tell them. She consoled me, tried to convince me that 5 years is not a big time and it would pass by just like that. And at the end she told me with firm voice "Don't cry...study hard and be a gentleman. People should not get an opportunity to point finger at me(to her) and say that I could not do your upbringing properly because your father was away from us". I could use her words within quotes as these words still keep mumbling in my ears.
That was it for me.I might not have understood everything she said at that time, but later when I came to my room and was going through those words again and again in my mind, I gradually came to realize what was actually meant. Of all the expectations she had from me, I was very clear on one thing from that day onwards that I should never let my parents down, be it whatever. Even today whenever I find my self at the cross road of good and bad, I try to remind me those words of her and follow the right path.
And as a student, I was mediocre. My target in the school exam used to be to be among the top 20-25. I never thought of being in that "Top 10" as I never thought myself that talented and I kind of accepted it. Life was going like this for me until the Durga puja came and we all went to Dhanbad to stay with my father for the next one month. As I had nothing to do, no friend to play with, nowhere to go, all my time which earlier was spent in activities other than studies, is now being spent only in studies and surprisingly I did not find studying to be boring , rather it was interesting ( I know lot of eyebrows would be raised, but this is fact). I used to go to a neighbour's house to see the cricket matches being played in Sharjah and Aquib javed did that infamous hat-trick, I remember I came home crying and never went to their house again. I think it was blessing in disguise, that I did not waste any more time in watching cricket and concentrated completely on my studies.
As a result, I was among the top ten (precisely 7th) in annual exam for 6th standard and I never looked back. Earlier my target used to be not to rank below 20-25, now it had become not less than 7th. As I grew and improved further, my target used to also climb with my progress. To many people it would be just "another" story, but to me that one month along with my mother's expectation from me changed everything around me. Had this not happened, I believe I could not come even closer to what I have achieved in my career. And being religious, I had begun to believe whatever GOD does for us, it is for our betterment only, however painful it looks temporarily. Even today, when I go through bad patch in life, I remind myself that my father used to cry so much in those days as he could not bear the unbearable pain of staying away from young kids, but he hardly knew that all his pain is actually making the future of his son. Who knows, may be if I was destined to reach where I am today, I might have reached here by some other means, had my father not been transferred, but I don't know what did not happen and what could have happened. I only know what has happened and that's why I consider this as the "turning point" of my life.
Welcome ot the blogging world. Nice one :-)
ReplyDeleteVery touching and very true.
ReplyDeleteBeing away from each other, it seems, we are getting to know us more closely these days!
Keep up the good work. Hope to see more posts coming soon.
At the very beginning I felicitate you for creating your own blogspot. It goes without saying that you are very much introvert in expressing your deep-rooted emotional feelings to your kith and kin. But, the same you, sometimes, are very much extrovert to some of your bosom friends. You are a good secret-keeper. You can maintain a secret as a secret. Blogspot is such a place, where you can experience the feeling of being in the middle of big and vast field, where you can enjoy the taste of freedom of expression. Blogsopt is like your best friend. It’s non-reactive but you can invite your close friends here to react upon your open confessions / expressions. That’s why I appreciate your move to move on to blog.
ReplyDeleteActually, everything you said is correct! Presently you are in the “Self-actualization” state. Generally, we come across this stage at a later part of our lives. Intelligence has many categories, like Abstract Intelligence, Social Intelligence etc. We people are always in the pursuit of happiness and mental peace. This happiness and mental peace can never be derived from money alone, in the long run. Money can only deviate us from this permanent peace and happiness by alluring us by its temporary vices. We need our family, friends and sometimes solitude to be happy and peaceful. This realization as to how to be a happy person is an intelligence. I won’t agree with you if you say that you lack this type of intelligence. Rather I would say that everyone of us at any point of time is in the process of learning. You, too, are in the learning process. At your tender age, you had the ambition to earn a lot of money, be a suited, booted guy and lead a luxurious life! Due to lack of proper intelligence (not bookish!!), you tried to be a rich and wealthy person but you ignored being a happy person and lead a peaceful life! Now you have money that can give you luxuary, but alongside money has given you huge work load, immense mental strain. You have to sacrifice your leisure at the alter of money for which you are socially, mentally and physically committed! But when you go to bed and try to keep aside all your workload of office, your conscience will haunt you, for sure! You will try to figure out the comparative graph of monetary earnings and mental happiness! And the answer from your conscience will always be “You are a loser!” I cannot gauge the grievousness of your wound cause by this comment of mine! If anything said my be seem offensive, please forget and forgive!